Monthly Archives: July 2016

I’ve got Big Thoughts

And too weak a mind

To hold them.


Philando Castile.

Another name to add to the list, a list comprised of names of people who I should know nothing of.

They were normal,

Guilty of daring to live in a white man’s world.

Nothing more.

I am so sickeningly accustomed to this now. I see how it will play out. Anger, a demand for action, no charges filed.

And then it will happen again. 

As long as bigots are allowed to don a uniform and have authority, this will always happen.

There will always be another Alton Sterling. Another Eric Garner. Another Michael Brown.

We must not abide this. Or their blood is on our hands as well.

We must not abide.

I feel like you led me on. But I don’t think you did.

I feel sick to my stomach. But I still don’t blame you.

I wish I could just be angry. But all I can feel is pain and loneliness and missing you so strongly it’s like dying from the inside out.

We still talk. But it’s not the same. Because what we had, what we should have, lingers behind every word.

We never had a chance.

We never stood a chance.