I tend to keep my mind busy with books and movies and TV shows and stories so I don’t think of things. Things like how lonely it is in my head, where endings leave vast empty spaces and nothing really means anything because we’re all here and then we’re not. Life is short and filled with useless thoughts and actions.
I can’t quite decide if I’m Rose or the Doctor. I’m not content with my normal life, and Rose seemed fine before her work got blown up. And I feel like the only person in the universe who feels things the way I do and sees the world the way I do. Maybe I should be a Time Lord because I’ve got so much in my head that I sometimes lose my mind a bit. I shut down. Can’t feel anything for a while, like I need a reboot. But I’m really just some normal girl with mad ideas like Rose. Waiting for my Doctor to make me feel less alone, less hopeless and worthless and useless.
I suppose I must be Rose. It seems arrogant to compare myself to the last of the Time Lords.
But alas. What is to become of me? A companion without her Doctor? I suppose I’ll stay this way forever. Maybe I’ll never really be complete or happy. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be.